Thursday Again
by Lunabell Marauder Knyte
Summary: My name is Gabriel and I,Sherlock Holmes,am your guardian angel.I can turn back the clock and give you a second chance to make things right with your husband,BUT,there is a catch.If I turn back the clock this time around it'll be John whose lost interest in you.So which is it?Live without a John who died loving you?Or with one alive but who doesn't love you?Choose wisely.
1. Breathing Slowly

Title:Thursday Again

Summary: My name is Gabriel and I, Sherlock Holmes, am your guardian angel. I can turn back the clock and give you a second chance to make things right with your husband, BUT, there is a catch. You see, Johnny boy died still being in love with you. If I turn back the clock I think it's only fair to him if I make it so he gets some retribution. If you so choose my offer of a second chance, this time around it'll be John who has lost interest in you. John will be alive once more, but he will not love you. So which is it going to be? Continue to live without a John who loved you even though you didn't deserve it? Or have a living John who will not love you?

_Tick tock goes the clock, the good doctor is dead._

_Tick tock goes the clock, cold and empty now is your bed._

_Tick tock goes the clock, you wish to make things right._

_Tick tock goes the clock, you want to bring back the light._

_Tick tock goes the clock, a deal will have to be made._

_Tick tock goes the clock, is your sanity something you're willing to trade?_

Chapter one: Breathing Slowly

* * *

The alarm in John's mobile goes off and I reach over his place to get it. John's mobile is always on the bedside table of his side. It was set for five in the morning. It was the time John would wake up in order to have time to get ready and leave the flat so he and I wouldn't have to be together in waking moments.

Thoughts like those are sometimes random, sometimes on purpose, but always cause a massive pain in my chest. I haven't changed anything in John's phone, not even the alarm. I wake up when he did. When I place the mobile back down gently I turn to the picture that's on my bedside table and smile.

"Good morning John. I hope you had a pleasant night. Mine was...the same. I miss you. I miss you so much."

Today is Thursday so today is one of the days in which I actually leave the flat. I go and complete my morning routine which includes a shower. Like I have done so in the past year of his absence I use his shampoo, his body wash, and his after shave. I spray his cologne on my coat and scarf and relish in the smell every moment it lingers.

A while ago I hacked into the CCTV videos and tracked down anything I could find of John. Mycroft warned me against it but like always I ignore him. There wasn't much because Mycroft deleted most of it but there was one video footage that I managed to get my hands on.

Normally John would wonder around London until 8:30am and then catch a cab to work which starts at 9. On Thursday's however John would have a routine. He would walk through the park, it starting at 5:10am when he's gotten ready. The ache comes back when my mind tells me John became quick to avoid me. There would be a small duck pond and he would go feed the ducklings every morning.

After the ducks he would continue his walk and visit different locations. There was no markers or names or anything, but John visited those places and leave a single hand picked flower he obtained on the way there. From the small smile on his face and relaxed posture it seemed like a promise he and some friends from his childhood had made.

The fact that John still did it to this day and left a flower said something. Those friends were now dead. And now John was too. There was no one left to take them flowers. So I made it my responsibility to do so.

Maybe it was a bit childish but I copied John's idea and after I placed picked flowers on the third tree in the park, the stone water fountain, and the bird feeder someone made themselves years and years ago, I would go to places that used to mean something to us. It took a lot to remember but I did. Angelo's, Tesco's, the little Chinese place we'd visit on Friday's, the cinema John dragged me to they were showing some of the James Bond movies for an event. That date turned out successful that we went plenty of more times...but I can't remember why. I curse in every language I know for my stupidity.

My impatience gets the better of me. I've been gone too long and return to 221B quickly. This is when the other part of my routine returns.

I go into the kitchen and take out John's most used cup. I places it with utmost care on the counter as I wait for the kettle to whistle. I make myself some Earl Tea and then go drink it while sitting in John's chair.

I look through the scrapbook Mrs. Hudson gave me. It holds pictures of John. Some from when we first met, some articles of when we were solving crimes together. A few of our 'wedding'. They were mixed with some she had somehow obtained from him and his family. I didn't know she knew them, but here was the evidence in this book. Photos of him far younger then when we met. Of him on Christmas opening a present. Of him in school with his friends. Of his prom...I admit some hatred rose inside of me when I saw my John in a nice suit with a girl in a white dress. It seemed like they were going to their wedding, not a dance. But it passed when I see a picture of us in a very rare moment that Mrs. Hudson took of us on the couch, asleep, in each others arms.

Once my Earl Gray is finished I look at the clock and see that it's 10 in the morning. I hug my knees to my chest and go into my mind palace. I walk down the now familiar path and go down a long hallway until I come up to a door oh so the same as the actual one. I turn the knob of the 221B door replica of my mind palace and smile when I see John reading the paper in his chair.

"I'm home," I announce.

He looked over his paper and smiles at me, _"Hello love. How was the case?"_

"Boring, as usual. They're all useless down there at the yard," I say with a pout that only he sees. He rises and we meet up and kiss. His image flickers for a second but in a blink he's the perfect John Hamish Watson I saw in a picture. The same clothes too. The well worn jeans that were beginning to fade, that ridiculous tan jumper, and his black shoes he left behind in the closet.

"_Sherlock?_" my John asks with concern. I smile and kiss him once more. And again for that second it takes to blink his image flickers and in his place it's the blonde male couple I found when I googled 'kissing'. I needed this piece of information to complete this replica. This time there would be more romance, more love. But I had no memory of us intimate so I had to recreate and I did a find job but sometimes...it wasn't enough and I'd need more information.

"_Are you okay?" _he asks again. My John can't be too different from the original. I _love_ (present tense)the original. The original would have been skeptical and worried about such actions of affection.

"I am. I...I just miss you," I reply and he smiles. My mind reminds me that he is a figment of my imagination and I curse at my mind in all the languages I know. But I am thankful for my imagination. It's brought John back to me and I can feel him and talk with him. And if he let the tenses pass him by then so be it. Because I really do miss him. I want to believe that when we're alone I can be allowed to act like this. The humanity I never showed him. So he smiles and we kiss once more, again the image flickers because it's not perfect because it's not actually John, and he goes to make us tea.

The taste of Earl Gray is still on my actual tongue so it makes the happenings in my mind the more real. I ask him the questions I know the answer to, so my John answers. Unfortunately one of my answers somehow relates to Surgery and I don't know enough about it.

The entire room flickers and I am once more in 221B. The real one. My breath comes out unevenly and then in a shudder. I look around and hate the place. It's too dark. It's too quiet. It's too lonely. But it's John's home. The only reason I returned was because this place, the memories, the objects, the sounds, the smells...they could help me recreate John in my mind. The only place where he can be alive.

I have almost all of the information I need to keep me in my mind palace with a somewhat living John who responds to me, but there are those few moments in which I don't have all the data. And in that small moment the fantasy shatters and I am forced back into the reality.

I take a deep calming breath and close my eyes. Reinventing everything. John's strong body from his army days, his fades blue jeans, my favorite of his jumpers, the tan one, the three different shades of blue that make up John's iris, the dark sandy blonde hair that has those few graying hairs. His replica has far fewer than the real one but that was my own selfish wish. The idea of John getting older means he was getting closer to death...to leaving me. That was unacceptable.

As I reopened my eyes I'm once more in 221B but it's brighter, it's cleaner, it's noisier. I look around frantically and call out, "John!"

There are loud footsteps as my John comes running towards me, panicked, "_What? What's wrong?"_

"I...I didn't know where you were...I panicked..." I answer and hug him as tight as possible. He hugs me back awkwardly and pats my back.

He replies with, _"You went to your mind palace to mull some things over for the new case Lestrade texted you. I just went upstairs to shower and get ready for bed."_

I nod. That was plausible. I'm sure it's happened before.

"Let's go to bed," I say.

"_What about the case?" _he asks.

"It can wait," I smile as I follow him to _our_ bedroom. Some nights in the real world I will have a wet dream of us together and even though it's great and feels amazing it saddens me because it can never be as good as the real thing and once more, I can't remember.

In my mind palace however it's nothing sexual. He lies on his side and I in mine. He turns his back to me and I face him and we spoon. I intertwine our fingers and he turns back and smiles at me. We kiss goodnight and he drifts off to sleep. I watch him and I am still wearing my coat and scarf in the real world so his scent is very strong. I watch and feel as his chest rises and falls with each breath.

"Well isn't this just pathetic?"

I jump away from the bed and stare at the figure in my room. There is brunette man standing in my mind palace. He's wearing jeans and a dark brown coat. I've never seen him before. He shouldn't be there.

"Who are you?" I demand.

He makes a face and then sneers at me and John who is still asleep because of my will power. He then smirks and snaps his fingers.

I am no longer in my mind palace but in John's chair in the reality I loath.

"That's better...oh wait. It's not for you is it? Not with Johnny boy dead and all," the stranger says and I curse for flinching.

"What are you?" I ask this time.

"Oh, very good. Always so smart. I think all my wards are like that. I think Cassy boy got the brave ones while I got the smart ones. He having Dean, Harry, and of course John. While I get Sammy-whammy, that Hermione, and you...then again he _did_ get Tony Stark, but he has some _serious_ daddy issues...and a drinking problem. But then _again_ I do have Draco Malfoy. Now _that's_ a serious case of daddy problems."

I say nothing as he rants on.

He shrugs his shoulders and rolls his eyes, "I'm an angel smart ass. You know, of the lord? High up in heaven...all that jazz."

"There's no such thing," I reply quickly.

"Really? Well that's a shame. And to think I came all this way to offer you a second chance," he said obviously baiting me. In my weakened state I fall for it.

"A second chance?" I echoed.

He brightens up and it sickens me that he reminds me of Moriarty. It sickens me even more that I can still remember that bastards face and not John's smile.

"To have Johnny boy back of course!"

"That's...that's not possible. John's dead. And this is cruel," I tell him.

"Uh, hello? Angel here? Your rules of physics don't apply to me," the angel said.

I stay silence for a moment and let it sit in my mind for a while, "How?"

He rolls his eyes again and says, "I'm Gabriel. An archangel. I have the power to bring back the dead if I so choose."

My throat is dry as my mind runs that over. John back alive...with him.

"But I can do you one better," he says and I look at him, "I can place you back in time. Give you ten years back. Put you just were the separation started. You can have the option to fix things between you and your husband."

Without thinking or analyzing I shout out, "YES!"

He smirks and raises his hand, "_But_! There _is_ a catch."

"What?" I asked, "If I have to sign my soul I will!"

He laughs, "I'm an angel not a demon, geeze pick up a nonscientific book once in a while."

"Then what's the catch?" I asked.

His smirk is lethal and almost makes me shutter, "You see...Johnny boy died loving you. If I turn back the clock I think it's only fair to him if I make it so he gets some retribution. If you so choose my offer of a second chance, this time around it'll be _John_ who has lost interest in _you_. John will be alive once more, but he will not love you. So which is it going to be? Continue to live without a John who loved you even though you didn't deserve it? Or have a living John who will not love you? I'd say choose wisely but when do romantic idiots use their upstairs brain for decisions like these?"

* * *

For MrsCumberbatch and Sequel to Thursday's Child

Also check out, _"I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high functioning sociopath.-SH"_ on **Facebook**. They're a great page! Hilarious and JohnLock!


	2. Law of Equivalent Exchange

Thursday Again

Chapter II: Law of Equivalent Exchange

* * *

_**Then...**_

"_Then what's the catch?" I asked._

_His smirk is lethal and almost makes me shutter, "You see...Johnny boy died loving you. If I turn back the clock I think it's only fair to him if I make it so he gets some retribution. If you so choose my offer of a second chance, this time around it'll be _John_ who has lost interest in _you_. John will be alive once more, but he will not love you. So which is it going to be? Continue to live without a John who loved you even though you didn't deserve it? Or have a living John who will not love you? I'd say choose wisely but when do romantic idiots use their upstairs brain for decisions like these?"_

* * *

_**...Now**_

So many thoughts go through my mind as I stare at the man, the angel, in front of me. An angel, an actual angel. A supernatural entity that I previously thought to be impossible. Had I been a lesser mental man I would have considered this a trick, an illusion, the results of my depression and anxiety of losing John.

However once you remove the impossible, whatever remains no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

What is that truth?

I have never seen this man before. Ever. Even when I erase someone from my hard drive, if I pass them again on the street there is this small nagging feeling tugging ever so slightly at my mind. It lets me know that I've seen them before, but they have been unimportant...Like I thought John's affections were.

But I don't get those feeling from this man. I truly have never seen him before. Also, no one has ever been able to retrieve me from my mind palace until I am ready to leave it. Or until my limited data forces me to leave to obtain more. This...creature, had not only entered my mind palace without permission, but had forced me to leave.

This was real. He was real. His..._opportunity_, was real.

As I continue to stare at this creature and analyze his words in my mind, so many things came up. A majority had been about John. The promises I made to John's corpse as I begged him not to be dead, like he once wished of me. The little words of love and affection I wished John would have heard me say before...leaving me. Then there were more scientific notions that I had to try to place in this situation. This was so outside of my comfort zone, I needed _some_ science!

"Really? Geeze I didn't think it'll be this hard to convince you seeing the extent you've gone to recreate John. Though what you've done is less creepy than what others have done. Hmm...what can I say to move this along? Oh! What about the Law of Equivalent Exchange? That's what I'm applying here," Gabriel said.

"The Law of Equivalent Exchange?" I echoed.

"_Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first Law of Equivalent Exchange." _Gabriel recited.

"What?" I asked.

"Alchemy. Science and magic, I thought it'd be appropriate given the situation. Me being mythical and you being scientific. Perfect law. Or ideal? Eh, the point is you can't get something without giving something. That's how demons work actually. They give you the sweetest of candy...in exchange for your immortal soul of course." Gabriel explained.

"But you said you weren't a demon. That I wouldn't have to sell my soul," I said.

"And you don't have to. I'm your angel, I can hear your thoughts. You, smart ass, want a reason. Something to explain everything because everything has to make sense. Right? But you can't see it. You ask yourself, Why did I do that? Why is John dead? Why am I hurting? Why did I need him? Why? Why? Why?" Gabriel as in a somewhat sarcastic voice.

Even though it was probably a rhetorical I answered anyway, "_Is_ there a reason?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes and smirked at me, "I don't have to tell you the reasons to those questions which you already have the answer to. But if I must. You're a man of the mind. You see your body as transport and rarely nothing else. Eating, sleeping, sex, how annoying. It wasn't until Johnny boy came along that you cared about physical interaction. Then BAM! It was too late to see what had happened. You, Sherlock Holmes, the cold hearted, arrogant, self absorbed, volatile, self proclaimed sociopath...was in love. You _needed_ another person. And that didn't sit well with your mind. No, your mind didn't like it one bit. So what did you do? You neglected, you deleted, you strayed, you-"

"ENOUGH!" I barked. I had hard enough time thinking those things on my own. It might have been a year but I wasn't anywhere near ready to hear them from someone else.

Gabriel just continued to smirk, "Okay...so are you going to take the deal or what?"

"...You said that the Law of Equivalent Exchange is at work here. What do you get?" I asked.

"I said it was like that, not that it actually was like that. And are you really going to question the person who will bring back your John?" he asked.

"No one...not even an angel does things for free. There has to be a reason...there has to be," I insisted. I may not be religious and find all sorts of mythology a waste of time but I did understand humanity. Maybe not emotionally but the rest of humanity. There was a reason for everything. Hatred, jealousy, revenge, spite, dedicated, a promise, nightmares, dreams...they all inspired and were the reasons behind every action!

"I'm bored," Gabriel simply stated.

"What?" I asked, confused.

He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes again, "Like I've said before, I can hear your thoughts. And I suppose when you put it like that, you're right. The reason I'm doing this? I'm bored. And I _know_...this will be entertaining. But let me elaborate on something, I didn't choose you. Don't you see this is all just an accident. You actually thought you were chosen because you're so smart or something? Don't be so vain. I have a lot of wards to watch over, any one of them could provide the entertainment that I'm lacking. Any of their lives could use a mythical force to help them out because there are other people on the planet that hurt just as much as you are right now. You aren't the only child I watch over. I just don't take my duties as seriously as some of my brothers and sisters. The fact that it just so happened to be you who I happen to choose to interact with is nothing but pure chance, and that's all there is to it. I, was bored. I thought this guardian angel thing could be fun if done right."

"Boredom? That's it?" I asked incredulously.

I've been on a lot of cases that involved religion based beliefs. That's where I knew the most of it from. All those criminals acting on the name of God, the victims praying for their loved one, etc, there was always a higher reason. A reason that was...more! More than just boredom!

"Oh come _on_! _You_ of all people should understand!" Gabriel exclaimed and then sighed, "Leave it to _you_ to prove the primal human denial and stupidity. Humans...you all think the same way in the end. Always thinking there is something more. Some _amazing_ answer that lives up to the expectations of being above human..." Gabriel sighed again, "Though I suppose I should cut you some slack since you didn't care for anything other worldly.

"My father made you in his image. We, angels, are _also_ his children. We're almost too similar that it's almost disgusting. But hey! That's how the cookie crumbles. We're just more powerful and more all knowing and frankly better looking and of course less complaining, but have no free will. But other than that...it's like looking into a mirror for you and me." he finished with another smirk, this one sarcastic.

"So...all you'll be getting is, what? Entertainment?" I asked just as incredulously as before.

"Pretty much," Gabriel shrugged. "Look. Right now you're still a bit doubtful. When you see Johnny boy living and breathing once more, everything will change. I think it'll be hilarious to see. Also...given the guidelines, I'm curious to see just how far you're willing to go for another human. If you really want a higher more moral sounding reason, think of it as me looking for some hope for humanity. That even Sherlock Holmes, the cold-hearted loner, would go far and beyond for someones else. You know, restore some faith in me for you pathetic evolved monkeys."

"What guidelines?" I asked.

"Alright alright. I can see that we're not going anywhere unless I give you some stable ground to stand under. So...rules. There will be rules. Rules are organization...you like that. Okay, right now John is dead. This is what we'll call the original time-line with the events that happened here. The neglect, the separation, the things you'll want to change. And this dead John, we'll call the original John so we don't confuse things." he said and I probably looked confused.

"When I send you back this time-line will still exist. What we're trying to do is make it so it never does. So the new time-line, which you're being sent back to in an attempt to fix things with John, will create a new time-line. One where hopefully you'll be that sickly sweet couple everyone wishes they'd be instead of the miserable thing they've become. Kind of like your relationship in this time-line. With me so far?" I nod and try my best not to snap at him at every verbal attack he makes at me and John's failed relationship.

"Good. Like I said before, in the new time-line, it'll be Johnny boy who has lost interest in you. That's the challenge you'll have to over come and what will be entertaining for me to see. But like I said, the original time-line will exist alongside with the new time-line. Now here's the entertaining part. The new time-line isn't necessarily allowed to exist next to the original one. Because really they're parallel. As an archangel I have the power to...sort of mix them together...well, really it's more like overlaying the new one over the original. But this is where you come in. In this new parallel reality you'll more or less repeat what happened in the original time-line. Your actions will be a defining factor. If things turn to be too much the same like the first time...the original time-line will continue to be as concrete solid as ever. Should you change that event, no matter how small, it'll give the new time-line more substance. With enough events the new time-line will be the more defined reality and that is the one you'll have in the end. Now, seeing as emotions aren't your forte, need I remind you that your actions in these events need to concentrate on Johnny boy? Or does that speak for itself? Just make sure you hold his hand more, look at him instead of something else, compliment his odd cuddly sweaters, _listen _to him...get very domestic and things will be fine..." Gabriel said smiling sweetly, too sweetly.

Almost evil. I didn't need my deducing skills to know that there was still a lot more this being wasn't telling me. Still, hearing everything he said...it was so promising. But could my hurting and broken heart handle being placed in front of a living John who didn't love me?

I turn away from the angel, not caring what he thought of me and my weakness. I turn to John's picture and pick up. I gently caress the image.

"_What should I do John?" _I asked mentally.

"Here you have no choice but to continue," Gabriel said strangely quiet. "continue with your life knowing Johnny boy is dead. Knowing it was your fault he went to an early grave. Knowing that more people hate you and they have a reason to. Continue knowing there is nothing you can do."

"If you accept my deal...I'll send you to a place where you can at least _try_. Where you'll have a chance. Sure he may not love you at first, but you have the _chance_ to change that. Somehow...you got him to love you once. You can have the chance to do it again...if you accept."

"I...I want John back. I need to make things right...I need him to know I love him," I whisper as I clutch John's picture to my chest and shut my eyes tight.

"So do you accept?" Gabriel prompted.

"Yes...I accept," I whispered and didn't see Gabriel's feral smirk.

"Good luck Sherlock Holmes. I hope...I hope you get everything you deserve."

Darkness engulfs me and I have the sensation of being thrown into a freezing pool but at the same time it's not water that I'm in. I gasp as I sit up straight.

I'm in my bed in 221B, but...it's different. This isn't my mind palace but it's more lively than the room I had been seconds ago. I feel the bed move and hear the small breaths the body next to me gives in their sleep.

Then my eyes widen and tears form. It's dark outside, there is a drip drip drip coming from outside but it's not raining. The early birds are singing though, the way birds sing after a storm. They sing because the chaos is gone, the darkness is leaving, and soon the sun will come out. It will come with a new day, a new promise, and a brighter outcome.

John! My eyes are blurred by my tears as I see him in front of me. Alive. Breathing. Actually just sleeping and not dead! His hair is blonder, his skin tanner, his face smoother and younger!

My hands ghost above him, afraid that if I touch him he'll disappear. Slowly I touch him and I nearly breakdown into hysterical tears with relief. He's alive, he's real, I can touch him, and he's warm. I comb my fingers through his hair and he leans into my touch.

I continue with my caresses in his sleep and he seems to respond to them positively. I wouldn't help it, I needed to hear him.

"John..." I called out softly.

"Hmm..." he replies sleepily, still not awake. But it was enough. My heart soared with happiness. I continue my caresses until it begins to brighten outside.

I bit my lip and I just couldn't help myself anymore. I lean down to kiss him and it's sweeter than any drug. Then my hopes drop substantially.

"Mmmm...Mary," John whispered contently.

"Well...I did say there were going to be obstacles." I didn't turn from staring at John with huge widened and hurt eyes to know Gabriel was there with that infuriating smirk of his.

* * *

There's chapter Two.

The Original story is Thursday's Child.

One-shots related to this are called, "Thursday's Thoughts". So far it's just Mycroft and Molly. Later I might add Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, Sherlock's, and maybe even Mary's.

Speaking of Mary, she will have a bigger part in this story. Also I think I'll make it a thing that I update every Thursday. It'll fit with the story, and also give me a chance to schedule it and have something for you guys regularly.

All of these Thursday's stories were inspired by **MrsCumberbatch's** stories "_Verita Liberabit Vos_" and "_Alone Is What We Have". _If you have time to, please read them.


	3. Time

Thursday Again

Chapter 3: Time

* * *

_**...THEN**_

_I bit my lip and I just couldn't help myself anymore. I lean down to kiss him and it's sweeter than any drug. Then my hopes drop substantially._

_"Mmmm...Mary," John whispered contently._

_"Well...I did say there were going to be obstacles." I didn't turn from staring at John with huge widened and hurt eyes to know Gabriel was there with that infuriating smirk of his._

* * *

**_NOW..._**

I don't remember closing my eyes or going to sleep. I didn't think it possible being in front of a living John, but I suddenly start awake and bolt right up in bed. I gasp for breath because it feels like I've been underwater for far too long.

As I blink the sleep away from my eyes I fear that it was all just an elaborate nightmare. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. Relieved because John wasn't actually in a relationship, no, affair, with that mundane bitch. Or heartbroken that it wasn't real and John was actually still dead.

"Ugh, please don't tell me I have to convince you _again_ that I'm real."

My head snaps up and I instantly glare at Gabriel. I don't know what he's playing at, but I intend to find out!

"Oooh, I'm shaking in my vessel!" Gabriel wiggles his fingers to mock me in his 'I'm pretending to be afraid' look. Then he crosses his arms and dons on his ever infamous smirk I'm beginning to seriously hate.

"What the hell was that about?" I demanded.

"Well...I _did_ say there were going to be obstacles. Mary Morstan is one of them. Actually, I think she's the biggest one at the moment." Gabriel said with a shrug.

I furrow my brow. I knew from my visits at the hospital that that woman fancied John, but how far could have that gotten in this reality?

"Oh, very far," Gabriel said.

"Stop reading my thoughts. It's disturbing," I tell him.

"Really? I would assume you'd prefer that to talking. You know, you being you."

"What's the relationship with John and..._Mary_," I practically growl.

"Well lets see," Gabriel makes a temple with his fingers and places them under his chin in a thinking position. Much like I do and I'm sure he's just mocking me, "I told you that this is essentially your past, just a few minor adjustments. Instead of you losing interest in John," I cringe at that, "It's John who has lost interest in you. Now! _You_! Big fella, had an affair. Never anything too serious because somewhere deep deep deep deep deep deep down you still cared for John. No wait, you always _did_...Hm, for a supposed genius you're pretty stupid. And a coward. And before you say or think _anything_! I'm right.

"You feared what John was doing to you but instead of manning up you coward away and look what it got you," Gabriel said with a slightest glare. It was odd being lectured and caring what is being said to me without lashing out at that person. Normally only John could get away with it.

"But you killed your John," I cringe but glare at him at hard as I could. Had be been human I'm sure he would have spontaneously combusted. "Anyway, Mary and John...John and Mary. Johnny boy had a few random flings once things went south. You, of course, knew. Though you never said anything which only sealed the deal. To both him and seemingly you, whatever it was that you had was nothing more but a fling itself it seemed. You know, an elaborate experiment on human interaction or something. It sort of went back to being like the beginning. John 'three continents' Watson with his string of girlfriends...the occasional boyfriend. But Mary...she's a keeper. Well, for Johnny boy anyway. She's not really my type."

I shake my head to try to clear it. For some reason I was still feeling foggy. "What about the random wake up?"

"Oh well I thought you'd want to see John before he woke up to go to work." Gabriel said.

"Explain," I demanded.

He sighed, "Same events, just reserved characteristics. You and Johnny boy used to wake up at different times because you wanted to avoid each other. That's still happening here. Johnny boy always wakes up before you to get ready to work. Instead in this reality, instead of walking around London visiting special landmarks that he and his friends used to visit, he now visits Mary." he lifts up his sleeve and looks at his watch, "If you hurry you have enough time for a quick shower. Then you can catch him for his lunch break."

In a blink he disappears. It took me a few seconds before I race to the bathroom and shower before rushing to get change. I hail a cab and make my way towards St. Barts.

As soon I make it to the door John and that..._thing_, exit.

"Ah, would you look at that. That tiny itty bitty micro expression of shock at seeing you here. Seeing him with her. So close. No guilt though. Johnny Boy's move passed that already it seems. Oi, don't glare at me. Only you can see me after all. They'll think you've finally gone mad," Gabriel tells me with an eye roll.

"Sherlock?" John asked, clearly surprised. And god! Seeing him so close, so alive! I have to try _very_ hard not to run to him and cry. I have to mentally yell at my body that John hasn't died yet. That I need to act in character, nicer, but still in character.

"Hello John," I reply after a bit too long a pause.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, and it breaks my heart how he stepped forward a bit to block that _thing_ from me.

"Not only that. You see how their hands are twitching? They so want to hold each other hands for comfort. You're scaring them...well, Mary. You're scaring Mary. Johnny Boy's just being the over protective hero that he is." Gabriel says, obviously amused.

"It's your lunch break," I reply after another too long pause that I listen to Gabriel.

"_I_ know that...how do _you_ know that?" he asks and my chest aches because of it.

"Why wouldn't I know my own _husband's_ lunch break?" I ask in turn.

"Right...um, do you need me for a case or something?" John asks, I can tell he feels a bit awkward.

"I thought we could go to Angelo's. It's been a while. Unless you have _other_ plans?" I ask and give a pointed look at Mary.

"Ooh, bold move. I like. Though I suppose no guts no glory, right? Plus you're lucky it's very early on still. It's at that phase where even though everyone knows, it's not said out loud, making it not 'official' yet. He's not going to let you call him on it...not yet anyway," Gabriel said.

"Um..not really. Just going to share a cuppa with Mary is all." John says.

"Well I'm sure she'll understand if you have a lunch date with me, right? You probably chat her ear off on how I don't do it often enough," I say and try to give my best charming smile I could muster to that..._thing_.

"Careful. You may be back to the early days but it's still been a while since the last time you've been romantic. A little affection for you is still a little bit thick," Gabriel tells me and I have to keep my body in control. Not only do I want to cringe at all his little comments, I want to so badly run to John, and push that horrible thing away from him. Plus I seriously want to punch my so called guardian angel.

"Hey! I heard that!"

"Well, be that as it may be, I only have a half an hour for lunch and Angelo's is a bit far. I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything. And we already made plans. You know how I am about promises," John said and stressed out the last bit. It confused me and I was very tempted to turn and ask Gabriel but I couldn't do that without seeming odd, even for me.

Gabriel laughed, "He's referring as to why he's _still_ with you. He promised, way back when you were like two horny teenagers who thought forever was possible, that he'd never leave you."

I bite my lip and sigh through my nose, "All right. Then I'll come and pick you up after work. We can go to Angelo's then."

"Actually...I've already got dinner plans. Besides, aren't you busy with a case or something?" John asks.

"No. Besides, you're more important," I know Gabriel has a point that I can't suddenly do a 180 and go from a sociopath to an empath, but damn it! John died! _My_ John died! I held his cold corpse and watched him be taken away without knowing what happened to him! There is so much I need him to know!

"Right, go ahead and completely ignore me about not laying it too thick. Now he's bound to get suspicious," Gabriel said in his best serious voice, but I heard his amusement.

"Sherlock...have you been around any sort of chemicals lately? I mean, dangerous or anything that will make you hallucinate?" John asks and my heart soars in happiness as I hear the concern for me in his voice.

"Or the doctor in him," Gabriel counters and I scowl. Luckily John probably thinks it's because of the question.

"No. I just want to spend some time with you." I say.

"Oh...well, we'll see when I have some free time that I haven't already promise okay?" John asks and begins to turn away without waiting for my reply. That thing looks warily between us but then follows John. I stand there and watch until they turn at the corner.

"Well...that was, what? A bit anticlimactic? For me it was. What about you? Dramatic? I think that describes it pretty well," Gabriel says as he stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs.

"Shut up!" I snapped at him and a few heads turn my way but I ignore them.

"Remember what I said genius, only you can see me. If you keep talking to me like this, or more specifically, yelling at me, they'll lock you up in the loony bin," Gabriel says.

"Mommy look at that man! He's bright and has wings!" a little boy passing my says.

"There's no one there Tommy. Now come on. We're late for your check up," the mother says.

"Okay...you and kids can see me. Not all of them. A lot of them can but that's because kids are more open minded and can easily believe in anything. And I suppose some psychics and maybe some prophets can sense me. Not see me completely but they'll know I'm here. Oh and dogs. Dogs can see me too. Not cats though. They're too stubborn."

I say nothing and storm away. Soon enough I make it back to 221B and throw myself onto the sofa.

"Oh don't tell me you're going to sulk. That's _so_ boring!" Gabriel whines as he materializes into the flat. I do my best to ignore him and I succeed for the most part. Unlike with anything else, he's there. In the corner of my eye.

"Okay sulk all you want. I have to go anyway," Gabriel says.

"Then please leave," I say without looking at him.

"I will. I have lots of more people to bother and annoy, thank you very much. _And_ they're more fun," Gabriel says childishly.

"Are you still here?" I ask indifferently.

He scoffs and says, "I just thought you ought to know something important that has to do with this deal."

I knew he was baiting me, but I couldn't help it. This wasn't my comfort zone and I didn't really have a choice of ignoring him or risk something really horrible blowing up in my face.

"Good. So you really _do_ have some brains," Gabriel sneers after hearing my thoughts.

"What's this important piece of information that you have for me?" I demand.

He smiles evily and replies, "You remember how I told you I merely placed this reality over the one that actually happened?"

I nod slowly and his smile widens.

"Good. Now, pay attention. The same events that happened before in the original time line are happening again only with the roles reversed. We've covered this. I told you that the new time line will need substance to replace the original. That back there was an event that would have given the new time line some substance. Since you failed, well...had I been a lesser angel you would have snapped back to the other reality and your second chance vamoose! However, since I'm me and I'm totally awesome, I got you some more time.

"Don't give me that confused look. Keep up! You and Johnny Boy are a fixed pair. What that is isn't really that important right now. Just listen to me, you and Johnny Boy are _supposed_ to be together. In the original reality Johnny Boy stayed to the end and died, but it was you who he loved. In here he's lost interest. If you can't get that interest back to you and this reality becomes set with John Watson _not_ in love with you, this reality will shatter the moment it becomes so because it cannot exist since you're a fixed pair. Meaning you'll return to the reality where Johnny Boy is dead and you're miserable and pathetic."

I nod though I vaguely understood what he was saying. "What am I supposed to do?"

"This is your second chance at a better life with your love. You need to give this reality substance. But that's only possible if John starts getting interest in you. This was a huge opportunity and you ruined it."

"So what now?"

"You need to make Johnny Boy look your way before the end of the week. If the clock ticks midnight and it's Monday and this reality has no substance whatsoever, it'll shatter. You won't see me again until you die, and I can't even promise that. I can't even promise you heaven at this point. And I'll have to make it so you live your live to it's natural end which could be decades away."

I paled at his words. It was one thing to go back to a reality where John is dead, but going to one where I can't kill myself to be(in my own mind) closer to John, that's cruel. Then my head snaps up and I run to the calendar on the laptop that was left on.

"It's Saturday!" I yell incredulously and whirl around to glare accusingly at Gabriel only to find the flat empty.

Great. I have roughly 36 hours to make John love me again or I go back to a reality where he's dead and I'm miserable.

* * *

I started a page on FB that will have pictures and songs that inspire my writings and fics. Plus will give you any info on upcoming updates or whatever. I just started it today so I'm asking people to like it. I need at least 30 so it will become a news feed. So please if you can, like my page. here's a link, just copy and paste

pages/Fan-Fictions-of-Lunabell-Marauder-Knyte/356667694408830?skip_nax_wizard=true


	4. Interest

**..._THEN_**

_Great. I have roughly 36 hours to make John love me again or I go back to a reality where he's dead and I'm miserable._

_**NOW...**_

* * *

I waited for John to get home. I had no idea when that was in this reality but I waited. I had the kettle on the stove. I didn't want to make the tea without knowing when he was going to get home. I didn't want it getting cold. In the meantime I busied myself with mindless domestic work. Something I'm sure would please John.

While waiting I had to refill the kettle with more water three times.

I cleaned up many questionable stains that were results of an experiment. Speaking of which, I cleaned up many of those as well. Then I waited.

I waited and I waited until John finally arrived home. When he did...he was not in the condition I wanted. He was drunk. Not clumsily so, but still drunk. Though I preferred the stench of alcohol on him than that _things _own personal stench. It was still on him, but not heavily so. Not in a way that says...they were doing...things.

"Are you alright?" I asked as I stepped closer to him.

"S'fine," he slurs and makes it deeper into the flat, stumbling a few times as he did so.

"Do you want some help?" I asked as I was placing one of his arms over my shoulder. He says something I can't understand and I help him to our room anyway.

It was an odd sensation helping him undress. There was an ache in my chest that was painful, but warm. These actions were domestic and something non-feuding couples did(if you ignore where John's been previously). I still had that feeling of him not really being real, but he was. My touches on him lasted longer than they should, but he either didn't comment on it or didn't notice it at all and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

I helped him get under the covers as he falls back onto his pillow. From the exhaustion and alcohol I image sleep be not far away. I decide to stay and watch him until he's completely asleep. I tell myself that once he's deep in his REM cycle I'll go into the living room and come up with a plan.

"You know, don't you?" John whispers.

I snap away from my thoughts and look down at him. It's still somewhat painful. Painful with heartache and relief. I never thought relief would ever be painful, but after thinking the only person I ever loved was dead, to see them alive...the relief is too much and it actually does hurt. It's beyond numbing. It leaves you almost paralyzed and stupid.

"Pardon?" I asked after a too long minute.

John shook his head, "Don't make me repeat myself."

It seemed John was willing any drunkenness away, but some was still there. The only plausible answer that he could be looking for at this moment is me knowing about his affair. Of course I know about it. I wouldn't even need Gabriel to tell me about it. It was so obvious to anyone with half a brain. And now John wanted me to tell him I knew about it? I couldn't. Admitting it to anyone would make me die a bit inside. Saying it to John, saying it aloud, making it real and not just some mindless stupid thought in the back of my mind? I can't.

"Sherlock!" John called me back to reality as he leans up on his elbows.

I look into his eyes with a heated stare. I try to portray all of the emotions into my expression. The love, the guilt, the regret, the sadness.

"Sherlock?" John repeats my name, softer this time. His voice is sweeter than honey.

With my same extreme expression I lean in and rest my forehead against him and close my eyes. I hear him gasp, probably in surprise at me showing any form of vulnerability, and that much.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I whispered. It's not what I was really asking though. My voice was pleading as I asked instead, _"Please don't make me say it."_

"We've been so far apart for so long now. Mentally I mean," he whispers back and places a hand on my hip.

"Emotionally," I added as I leaned into his touch.

"I left early and went to a pub by myself instead," John said.

"Hm?" I asked him to continue.

"Couldn't," John said as he let me go and fell back onto his pillow.

I straightened my posture and held his hand. He squeezed back and I fought the urge to smile like an idiot.

"Couldn't?" I pushed my luck and echoed his words. I needed to hear him say it.

"Couldn't think of her. You were on my mind," John whispered and sat up slowly. I hadn't turned on the lights. The only source we had was the light coming in from the doorway which we left open and some moonlight from outside.

I gripped his hand tighter. Without even knowing how or when, his lips were pressed against mine. There was a whoosh of air as John used his strength to flip me onto the bed. He was hovering over me and then leaned down. His lips ghost over mine for a few seconds before we're in a heated make out session.

I could still taste some of the alcohol in his mouth, I've thought about the past few hours, and I thought about John.

His touches were like the sweetest drug, but I wanted more than just his body. I wanted him completely. I wanted his body, his touches, his sweet words, his mind, his spirit. I wanted John.

I move back begrudgingly. He pants and stares at me. "I'm your husband John. Not your consolation prize."

"Sherlock?"

"I won't do this without you being sober and inevitably end up being a regret of yours." though I wanted nothing more than to be thoroughly shagged by him, I _had_ to do this. It'd cause more harm than good if I fell into this easy temptation. One sweet night isn't worth a life without John. If the world would end tomorrow, then that's how I would love to spend it, and it might as well end tomorrow, but there was a _chance_! A chance of more nights, lots of them! I _had_ to be strong.

I tuck him in and he gives me little to no fuss as exhaustion takes over. I slump onto the couch with a sigh.

"You had him right there and you didn't take him up on it. Exactly how many chances are you going to screw up?" Gabriel asked as he appeared on my chair.

"He's not himself right now," I reply meekly.

"Which would make it _easier_ for you," Gabriel said.

I gave a sigh of annoyance, "If you really are a being of higher power then you'd know the morally correct person John is."

"Uh...he's _cheating_ on you," Gabriel deadpanned.

"Because it was part of _your_ condition!" I defended my John. The only reason he's doing so is because this bastard made it part of the catch. My John is good and noble and even if he's like this now, he's still good. Nothing will change that. And soon enough my John will be just _mine_ once more!

"Not if you don't get him interested in you. I told you. You don't give this reality any substance and all this vanishes. You had your chance just there and you blew it," Gabriel reminded.

"You aren't human. You couldn't possibly understand," I grumbled. I knew the irony of accusing him of that.

Gabriel snorted and said, "Bit of an understatement there doncha thing? I still don't see the problem. Johnny Boy was coming on to you!"

"He was drunk," I said.

"He was willing!" Gabriel protested.

"He. Was. Drunk." I announced each word hoping he'd either get it or leave it alone.

"What does it matter!"

"The point of this is to get John to love me again. How will he do that if I be intimate with him when he isn't sober? It's _not_ how John works!" I was so angry with the fact the he didn't seem to understand John, my John, the real John, that I actually yelled.

In a blink of an eye Gabriel is gone and I hear stumbling as John enters the living room, "'Wos wrong?" he asked as he tried to force the tiredness away.

I sigh and mentally curse Gabriel as I stand and face John, "Nothing. Go back to bed John."

"You were yelling." John stated.

"I was. And now I'm quiet," I say.

"You were yelling about me." he continues as he blinks more sleep away.

"And?" I try to get him annoyed or disinterested.

"It sounded like you were...defending me?" he asks a bit confused.

"Go back to sleep John," I tell him.

"No."

"You're still somewhat intoxicated. Go sleep it off," I order him this time, hoping it'll do the trick.

"No thanks. I think I've got most of it out of my system. And with the adrenaline I have from hearing you yell I'm actually wide awake." he says.

"It's late," I say.

"I'll watch some late night crap telly then," he says as he drops on his chair.

"Right...well I'll be in the kitchen. Care for a cuppa?" I asked.

"You're willing to make me a cuppa..._willingly_?" I asked as bit surprised.

"You said willingly twice. A bit redundant." I try to act as normal as I can.

"You never make tea," John says.

"I feel like a cuppa and there will obviously be enough for you as well. Do you want some or no?" I state expressionlessly.

"Um...sure. I'll have a cuppa," he says a bit awkwardly and I dash into the kitchen.

After I refill the kettle with water and place it on the stove, I slump against the counter and let out an exasperated sigh.

"You have hell of luck. Yet another chance arises," Gabriel says as he appears next to me.

I turn my back to him and search the cabinets for John's Earl Grey. I do my best to ignore him and instead contemplate at the problem at hand. How to make John love me in about 24 hours.

"Well...love is _such_ a strong word," he says teasingly and he's baiting me again.

I look towards the living room and hiss back to him when I hear the telly, "What are you taking about?"

"I never technically said he had to _love_ you right away. Just be interested in you. The boldness back there at the hospital was a good start, it gave you a few more hours. I'd guess until Monday morning. But the laws of second chances knows how fickle love can be so it's not really love that's important at this stage. Merely interest, but you're really dense so I'll tell you that by interest I mean lust," Gabriel said.

"So you mean..." I left it hanging in the air. I tossed another look behind my shoulder to make sure John isn't listening.

"I mean just shag the guy. Or be shagged. That's what you need to give this reality some substance," Gabriel said with a mischievous wink and two thumbs up.

"If what you say is correct I doubt John would want to be intimate with me while sober and I can't be intimate with him while he's intoxicated," I say with conviction.

Gabriel huffed, "You are _so_ normal sometimes. Do you know that? I'd be careful, you're becoming very moral."

I fix a glare at him and he shrugs. He then digs into hi pockets and pulls out a bottle of pills and tosses them to me, "And what, pray tell, are these?"

"Was that a pun? Pretty bad one. No imagination whatsoever," Gabriel replies. When I just give him a pointed look he rolls his eyes and said, "They're experimental aphrodisiac concentrated pills. I got them from a lab near the island of Manhattan."

"You cannot be serious," I deadpanned.

"Look, I'm your guardian angel. It's somewhere in the job description that I have to help you. You say you can't be intimate with Johnny Boy while he's intoxicated but you can't not do anything or else this reality bites the dust. You doubt Johnny Boy will be interested in you if he's not drunk so here's my option. It's the perfect set up. Just drop two in his tea and let him drink it. I'd lose a few layers of clothing while the pills take affect. He's going to get all hot and bothered and look at the beautiful sexy _husband_ he has laying around for those specific needs!"

"I will _not_ drug John!" I hissed at him.

"You've done it before," Gabriel says with a shrug.

"This is different. If he finds out I drugged him..." I didn't even know how to finish that sentence.

"He won't," Gabriel said with what was supposed to be a reassuring voice.

"Am I supposed to trust you? The angel who seems to have more fun tormenting me than actually helping me?" I demanded.

He glared and raised his hands in mock surrender, "Hey, I can't do everything okay? It's not how it works. I can't do too much or you lot get dependent, but I can't just leave you because then you lose faith. It's control and balance. That's how we work."

"You're doing a lousy job!" I hissed at him.

"The pills will only appear to you when you need them. The rest of the time they'll find themselves in my pocket. John will never know. And besides, you want this. You've missed his touches. His voice. His sweet words directed _at_ you," Gabriel pauses, "And don't forget Sherlock, you only get this one chance, and...the clock is ticking."

In another blink Gabriel is gone again. The kettle is whistling. John is waiting. I'm standing alone in the kitchen looking at the pills in my hands and for once let my heart's yearning overpower my mind's warnings.

* * *

So so so sorry for the late update!

Last Thursday was the day before my flight back to the US. I had to take care of a bunch of little things. I tried really had to update on Thursday but I got stuck somewhere in the middle of this. Damn writers block!

But here it is! oh and I have two pages of FB to like. One is called Fan Fictions of Lunabell Marauder Knyte. I have a link on my profile. And I have a page for loads of fandoms! It's called SuperWhoLock'd Earthlings

Please like and please review!


End file.
